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first love?

So, it's 1:16AM. I'm still up, this break-up is getting to me even worse than the other four times we've broken up. I don't know why, something in my heart told me to give him another shot, that this time was gonna be different, that we were gonna last this time. But here I am, up and awake, 3 hours before I have to wake up for school, sad and upset, and thinking of ways I can get my first love to come back to me. He says I was being "clingy," but how? I don't rely on other people, I'm more independent, is there something I'm missing here? Like is there some code behind this?

I'm starting to question myself, are relationships really worth it?

Senior Year Schedule :)

1. English 12 - Broyles

2. Early Childhood Careers 2 - DeBruler

3. Early Childhood Careers 2 - DeBruler

4. Education for Employment 1 - Gordon

5. Geometry - Miadzvedskaya

6. Education for Employment Co-Op - Gordon

7. US/VA Government - Christ

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so like.. today he told me he was done with me for good, it's whatever, I mean, it hurts, deffinately, but I'm not gonna let it bring me down, it's whatever, it was his choice not mine. I still love him, I'm just not in love with him. Like seriously, I don't care if he went out and got a new girlfriend tonight, it just wouldn't bother me, at all. He always gets mad at me over the dumbest things.. It's annoying.